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I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally loooking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts! Bad Santa Script Hey, can I get another drink down here? I've been to prison once. I've been married twice.

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But, you see, I got sick and all the hair fell out.

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I could stick you up my ass, small fry. Keep it going. Fuck.

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Find everything you're looking for? You can't just take up with some. Well, what's one point?

Jesus Christ. You're welcome. You're pathetic.

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No way! You know why, Willie? It's like some deep-seated childhood thing. Your soul is dog shit. You know, then I'll move on. Do you have any houseguests?

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Hey, Granny? Everyone went to his hometown to register.

No, of course not. And pull your damn pants up! Oh, Granny.

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If I'd known I was gonna have to put up with screaming brats pissing on my lap for days out of the year, I would have killed myself a long time ago. Marcus, it's Willie. He's freaking me out. Hold on. Little Billy Barty.

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He's a fucking faggot. Yeah, kid, come on. Are they gonna Quebec girls sex you on somebody else's head? Another Grand-Dad, Santa? I'll see you tomorrow. What a darling photo. You're a fucking loser, and you fucking know it.

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It's a joke. You got no discipline.

Well, come on. And then there's a chocolate inside.

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I need to talk to you. Don't fuck with my beard. I'm an eating, drinking, shitting, fucking Santy Claus.

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I just got back to the motel. That's it right there.

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No, no, no. Need money to fix your sleigh?

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Things are all fucked up at the North Pole. Small sacks filled with about a pound of sand each. Good thinking. I need you to run a plate for oloking. Let's go.

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So this is Asian swingers it's gonna be. You can't drink worth a shit, you know that? Four kids beat me up and I went crying to my daddy. Uh, lookinh, many ing questions are not cut-and-dried.